


How did THIS happen?

by K_S_K_Liveley



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Awkward confrontations, Hurt/Comfort, Karkitty, M/M, M/M/M, Other, Pet Play, Quadrant Confusion
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-23
Updated: 2015-04-10
Packaged: 2018-01-13 11:19:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1224346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/K_S_K_Liveley/pseuds/K_S_K_Liveley
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat Vantas is in a Matespritship with John Egbert and a Kismesitude with Dave strider.<br/>John and Dave have had this fucked up best-friendship since puberty.<br/>Karkat catches the two going at it and runs away.<br/>John goes to find him.<br/>Heart-wrenching talks and some smut happen later. Lots of cuddles.<br/>Karkat has a pet play kink.</p><p>**Currently on Hiatus** (sorry guys)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Surprising Confrontations

            I'm not entirely sure why I headed to Dave's respiteblock, but I'm sure aren't sticking around after hearing what my kismesis is doing. Then I hear a voice I didn't expect. My matesprit was urging Dave to be quiet. Had they heard me? I stifle a sob and run away. How could they do this to me?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

            “Dave, shh!” John whispered. Dave ignored him and kept bouncing and moaning above him. John grabbed his partner's hips and held him off of his dick.

            “Dave, I thought I heard someone!” The blonde stilled and listened. Footsteps echoed down the hallway, running in the opposite direction of the room.

            The two locked eyes. If it was who they thought it was, he was probably making some huge assumptions about their activities. Dave sighed.

            “That just killed the mood completely.”

            “Yeah. Does he know that we know that he was hiding his relationship with each of us from the other?”

            “I don't think so. I think he was trying to do some mix of troll quadrants and yet respect the fact that humans prefer monogamous relationships.”

            “I need to go talk to him. He probably is most hurt by my involvement.” John rubbed his forehead and kissed Dave before leaving to go to Karkat's room.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

            I was huddled in a pile of blankets and fabric scraps in the safety of my respiteblock. How could John do that to me? I guess that maybe I'm a hypocrite because I had relationships with both of them, but that was quadrants and part of how I was raised. I really don't care because my kismesis and matesprit had been coupling. My matesprit's smell coated the blankets I'm hiding in. This only magnified the pain I felt at loosing John's affection. I knew that he could never want to be with me, I'm too grouchy and domineering for him, and my little pet play kink finally lost its novelty and it had sunk into his head how weird and creepy it was to pretend that I was a cat. I picked up my collar from the floor of my pile, and put it on. Becoming something else, something lesser and stupid that wanted nothing more than to make it up to its Master. I sniffle and curl in upon myself as a feline cry of despair muffled itself in the fabric surrounding me.

            “Karkat?” Master's voice comes through the door only making the sniffles and mewls come through faster. “Karkitty?” The door opened. I roll onto my back, showing that I am sorry for whatever I did to displease Master so.

            “Oh, Karkitty, I'm sorry.” He kneeled down and stroked through my hair. I meow pitifully. “It's not what you think, Karkitty. It's not. I love you so much.” His hands still ran over my head, soothing me into listening. “I'm going to take off your collar and move away, okay?” No, Master. Karkat won't listen, but kitty wants to be a good boy. Kitty wants to fix whatever mistake he made so that Master wouldn't go to someone else for good times. Kitty loves Master. But Master can't hear what I am thinking, and kitties don't speak human language, so he was removing the collar.

            The tears started fresh. I wanted to be back in the head-space where everything can be fixed. I don't want to know why the one I love would do something like this to me. He was seated across the room on the floor.

            “Are you back yet, Karkat?”

            “What does it matter? Just go back to- to-...” I couldn't possibly say it, “what you were doing. I don't need the it's-not-you-it's-me speech. It's obvious what was going on in there.” No, I won't shed any more tears over this.

            “It's really not what you think, but I doubt you'll listen to me. If you still have your hate thing with Dave, you can ask him. I'm just sorry.”

            He didn't sound pitying, he sounded sorrowful and frustrated. I wonder if he managed to get off before searching for me. I shake my head, I don't get to think those thoughts anymore.

            “Is that a no you won't talk to Dave? Or a no, you still hate him?”

            “It's a no, I can't be in the same room with you.”

            “I wish you'd listen to me.”

            “Then go ahead and explain why you, my matesprit, and my kismesis were pailing? What could possibly explain that other than you being done with me?” I wiped at my traitorous tears.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

            At least he's willing to listen to me. I can't believe how much he's hurting, and knowing that I helped cause it stabbed my heart with a rusty blade.

            “Are you actually going to listen to the whole story? Because it's a bit convoluted.” He snorted.

            “Sure. As though the truth is too simple.” I take a deep breath and sigh.

            “Dave and I hit puberty around the same time. Neither one of us understood what the hell was happening because we hit it early. It was just us, and we tried to make sense of things. Accidental touching during tousles became purposeful teasing once we figured out that it was somewhat pleasurable. It just kept progressing. Even after we got the school lecture and 'the talk' for our parents, we kept goofing around. It stopped being sex. It was the fact that this was my best friend, that I knew him well enough that I could make him turn into a moaning mass without touching him. It just became another facet of our friendship. We took care of each other, and we still do. We hadn't in quite a while, and it was like losing a limb, we didn't know each other like we always had. I was going to tell you directly after, but you stumbled upon us. It's not the same as when I'm with you, or was if you still want to break up with me, because that it me showing my love for you. It's just to get closer to Dave when it happens. I had even kept away from him forever because I knew that you wouldn't understand.” I breathe and a sob catches in my throat, because I know I've lost him forever. “I'm just going to leave.” I head for the door.

            “Wait.” I pause, “So it's like moiralliegance”

            “I guess, but a lot more fucked up.”

            “But it's a mutual comfort and closeness. That's what morails do, it's just usually not that physical.”

            “Sure.” I turn the knob, and then get caught from behind.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

            I jump up and wrap my arms around my matesprit. I wouldn't let him go again. I made an assumption and now I know the truth.

            “I'm sorry. Don't go. I- I love you. I was startled and jumped to the wrong conclusion. Just don't be mad at me.” I bury my face into his back, “I found out how bad losing you would be and if I lost you again because I was stupid-” I choked. I would kill myself for being stupid enough to push him away. He turned around in my arms so my face was buried in his chest.

            “I didn't want you to find out like that. I was going to tell you before I started it again. But Dave was having a shitty day because his sister's still drinking herself into a coma, her girlfriend is going to leave her soon unless she cleans up, and there's nothing he can do to help her. I just fell back into it.” He stroked my back and kissed the top of my head, “I'm so sorry I hurt you.”

            I look up at him. “I was, but I know better than to hurt now.” He kissed me. I let myself melt into it and opened my mouth for his tongue. When he pulled back he was smirking.

            “When were you going to tell me that Dave's your kismesis, and tell him that I was your matesprit?” I blushed and looked away. “Hmm? When?”

            “I don't know. I didn't want you to hate me for having him as a kismesis. I didn't know how you'd react what with your different morals and way of courting.” I looked down in shame.

            “It's fine, and I'm not mad, but Dave and I tell each other everything, so we figured it out not two weeks after it started.” My blush darkened.

            “I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner.”

            “It's fine, Kar. Honestly.” Then he laughed, “Quick question, who bottoms?” My blush got impossibly darker.

            “Ah. I see.” I detected a hint of jealousy in his voice.

            “I'm sorry, I just wasn't strong enough to dominate him.” I looked down at my feet and pulled my arms away. He only held me closer.

            “I understand. Dave's one cocky bastard with all the dominance to back it up. I would actually be surprised if you _had_ managed to dominate him.” He tilted my chin up to him, “But don't worry, I get the soft, cuddly you that he doesn't.”

            “That side of me is only for you. I love you.” I leaned up and connected our lips again. When we broke apart again, our breathing was heavy.

            “Let's drag those blankets back onto the bed, my love.” He breathed into my ear, his panting turning me on fully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Crappy start, sorry.


	2. How He Deals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat and John discuss what happened, Karkat needs to be left alone, Dave gets fed up with not getting laid and drags John off!  
> (Also, Karkat just got outta heat, and I made it so that it's kinda like reverse pms, With him getting all moodswingy from the sudden lack of mating hormones.)

            I was so warm, wrapped in John's arms. We didn't pail last night, just kissed and cuddled. I was kinda glad that he didn't try and get me to have sex with him, because all I could see was him and Dave together in my mind. I wasn't gonna ask who was top or bottom. Nope. Not gonna ask.

            “Morning, Kar.” he nuzzled into my chest.

            “Morning, John.”

            “How are you feeling this morning?”

            “I’m a bit upset, but I understand what was going on now.” He ran his hands through my hair.

            “It’s alright. Any questions about it? I’d rather you know everything. So, just ask if you have any.”

            “Oh god.” I push him away. “I would rather now as little as possible.”

            “Okay. Um, sorry.”

            “Look, even though I’m not mad and have accepted that it’s the way things are, I don’t like it. At all. So knowing that much would probably only put my think-pan into anger-overdrive and make me actually kill Dave.”

            “Whoa, Kitkat, tone down the black-rom flirting. Know ya hate me but still, it’s not very nice to do that to your matesprit.”

            “WHO THE FUCK INVITED YOU INTO MY ROOM ANYWAY?! NOT ME, THAT’S FOR FUCK’S SURE! OH WAIT, MY ROOM. MEANS NO ONE IN HERE WITHOUT MY EXPRESS DIRECTLY FROM MY MOUTH PERMISSION! FUCK THE FUCK OFF!”

            “Dave, seriously. I think he’s serious about killing you.” Fuck, now I’ve gone and made John worry about the fucker and my sanity.

            “Just go, Dave. I’m sorry that I’m pissed about this. I get that you got this fucked up morailigence goin on and sure I accept it, but I really am just fucking pissed. So if you would kindly get your alien ass outta my room so I can actually talk to my matesprit in peace, that would be exceptional.”

            The fucker looked startled. And kinda sheepish. Huh. Who would’ve thought that Dave Strider was capable of embarrassment?

            “A’ight. I’ll go away.”

            I waited a few minutes to make sure he was gone before lunging for my collar. John’s hand covered mine before I could get it around my neck.

            “Why? Are you trying to delay talking about it?”

            “Kinda, yeah. I get that I basically did the same thing to you guys, and that I’m a fucking hypocrite for not being cool with it, but I can’t change the fact that I  hate him, nor can I change the fact that I’m a jealous son of a bitch who’s possessive of his matesprit.” I take a deep breath. “The only way for me to not feel like shit right now is to get in the headspace.” Where everything is my fault, and I can fix it by being a good boy, by pleasing Master, doing what he tells me.

            “Karkat. I don’t care if you want me to stop it. I will, honestly. I want you to be happy and I fucked up yesterday. Just don’t hide. Please. Not from this. Not right now.”

            Tears welled up. “I won’t make you stop, John. I’ll deal with it. You don’t need to sacrifice shit for me. It’s my issue to work out. Okay?”

            “No, Karkat, it’s not okay if you’re crying. I don’t want to be the cause of that.”

            “And I don’t want to cause you to have a mental breakdown because you and the best bro you ever had can’t share everything! This is ingrained in your personality. And I had slowly started to see cracks in the guy I love. Three months into the relationship you locked yourself in your room and said you had gotten a stomach ache, while your eyes were red and you wouldn’t look at Dave the rest of the week. Two weeks later you started acting like he was a stranger and also became more jumpy and cried again when you thought I was asleep.” My breathing was shaky and my eyes burning and brimming with red tears. “I honestly didn’t know why it happened or how to fix it or anything. I just tried my hardest not to set you off. And then last night you come in and I see no cracks. Like someone reversed all the damage of the past five months, not just glued you together, but erased all of it. I can’t deal with you breaking again when there’s a simple solution.”

            “I-I thought I hid it well. I just didn’t want to hurt you. I thought I could handle it.”

            I wiped my eyes angrily on the back of my hand. “You obviously didn’t and couldn’t. But I don’t want you to break again. Not like that, where I can’t fix it. Just keep yourself together. I’ll be alright. I’m just, well, I just got out of heat you know.”

            “Fuck! I forgot about that the second you found us! No wonder you’re taking it so much harder.”  

            “Yeah. I was looking for Dave the last night of my heat and instead I hear the last thing I expect, and have my suspicions confirmed by my matesprit not half an hour later.”

            I looked him directly in the eyes.

            “And honestly I feel like shit because I honestly **do** want you to stop, but I can’t have you break again. And I’m at war with myself: your sanity or my own pride? It’s not even a fight, but it is, because you said you’re mine, and yet I share you with him to make sure that the guy I love stays that way. Your health comes first, but my pride is saying to never let anyone touch you. So I will need time to sort it out. Now let me go into the goddamn headspace. I can think things through while not having to worry.” And with that said I proceed to put on my collar, and retreat into my mind to process this shit.

 

            “John?”

            “Yeah, Dave?”

            “Is Karkat really that pissed at me?”

            “No, he’s processing it all so he can accept it. He’s really possessive of me, you know? So he’s taking his time.”

            “I’m gonna go see him. Just to check on him.” John’s eyes stare into my soul and widen in horror.

            “Don’t, he will not take that well right now.”

            “He’s been alone for two days.”

            “No, I’ve been checking on him. He’s okay. Just leave him be.”

            “Has he even eaten?”

            “I’ve brought him things. He gets lost in thought and doesn’t remember, so when I check on him I bring him something.”

            “So, why can’t I go make sure he’s still cool with me?”

            “Because he asked me not to let you in.”

            “Why on Earth would he do that?”

            “Because he wants to be left in some sort of peace.”

            “Fucking hell, when was he last laid, John?”

            “Ummm, second to last day of his heat.”

            “That’s a long time for Karkat. Either he’s super pissed at me, to like non-black-rom extremes, or he’s committing mental suicide. Karkat Vantas does not do the celibate thing.”

            “Well he is right now, so leave him be, he’ll be fine, I swear.”

            “Why does he let you check on him?”

            “Because I’m quiet and he knows he needs at least _someone_ to check in on him at least once a day.”

            “Fine, whatever. Thought we didn’t have secrets, bro?”

            “I’d tell you if he hadn’t insisted on making me promise. It’s not even my secret.”

            I release a huff of air. “Come on, John.” I grab his wrist and drag him away from the commons area.

            “Where are we going?”

            I look back at him and lower my shades. “Neither one of us has gotten laid since he found out, so we’re going to.” His blush has always been adorable.

            “Oh.” His voice was all breathy and squeaky and I adored that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh My Gog. this sucks and I'm sorry, I honestly lost my groove halfway through. Sorry it took so long, I feel bad. This is my first time authoring.


	3. When Karkat's finished thinking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave's wondering why Karkat hasn't been out of his room in a week.  
> John tells him to chill and that Kar's trying to get used to the idea of him and Dave.  
> Dave hasn't been laid in a week and he decides to end that right then with John.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My muse shot me three times today, and the result is this chapter. I'm not sure how good it is. But if I screwed up somewhere, please tell me!

> **-Author Update: I reread this on 22/12/15 and realized that this could be considered dubcon because John expresses the thought that he really did not want to be in the middle of that, but that's just John not wanting to intrude/being awkward about the two people he fucks wanting to fuck with him in the room and him being an active participant. He strikes me as the one-on-one sex kinda guy, so that's why there's no dubcon warning!**

 

 

            Oh god. Karkat is literally just starting to get over the fact that Dave and I are together, and here I am allowing myself to be dragged to Dave’s room and pushed onto the bed. It’s only been six days since both of us last got laid, but god, Dave’s mouth was warm and his body pressed so nicely into mine.

I was starting to lose sight of why I shouldn’t be doing this.

            _Karkat…_

            “Dave, stop.”

            “Why? Thought Kar was getting used to the idea?”

            “Yeah, but until he does accept it fully, we really shouldn’t.”

            “Why not? He’s going to accept it whether or not we do it now.”

            “But I want him okay with it first. Eventually doesn’t matter when it comes to the present.”

            “Why is this always the scene when I come looking for your egotistical self, Dave? I mean really? It’s only been a week. Even John has a bigger think-pan than you with no sex.”

            I threw Dave to the side. “Eh ah um, plea-“

            “Freaking shoosh, John. I heard you telling him to back the fuck off. But seriously, Dave, learn to control your Gog-damn hormones. I mean what in Mother Grub’s fifth ovary made you think that you couldn’t survive without sex? Didn’t you have to stay on your planet for like a month all by yourself? How in the Signless’s name did you cope then?”

            Dave was looking horrified.

            “Oh pull yourself together. And I’m not pissed anymore. So, I’m going to go ahead and leave and let Dave get his fix.”

            Now I am totally confused. Did he just tell me to fuck Dave?

            “Are you telling me to fuck your matesprit? Cuz honestly it’s your alien junk I’ve been wanting to pound all week.” Karkat raised an eyebrow and gave Dave a death glare.

            “I’d really like to see you try.” I needed to get outta this situation fast. I tried to sneakily sidle out of the room.

            “Don’t go anywhere, John. It’s honestly hilarious to see your face right now. And are your glasses fogging up? Usually they only do that when I wear my collar for you.” Oh shit, he fucking purred that out. I swear to god I think I squeaked.

            “Look at that, Egderp’s getting all hot and bothered by our blackrom flirting.” Dave you seriously are not helping.

            Whoa, what the frick is that look they’re sharing?! Oh please don’t let it be-

            “Come over here John.” Dave patted the bed beside him.

            “I-I’d rather n-not.”

            “Aw, he’s stuttering.” Oh god, that purr. Fucking hell, I have to get out now! I hear the door locking.

            “Don’t worry, Master, I won’t let him hurt you.” Karkat’s purr was lowered enough that I could hear, but not Dave.

            “When’d this occur to you, Kitkat?”

            “This morning.” I really don’t think I could nope harder than I am at this moment.

            “Great idea. So are we putting aside the blackrom?”

            “Only when John’s in-between us.” Fuck, this is happening. My face must be bright red and I really couldn’t see through the fog on my glasses. My raging hard on did not help my argument that I really did not want this.

            “Don’t worry, bro, neither one of us are going to mark you pretty skin up too badly.”

            “I-I uh…. Wh-what? Wh-why?” I looked up at Karkat.

            “Because, if I have to share you, might as well do it properly.” I was passed into Dave’s arms. Dave’s naked self pressed against my clothed body.

            “I came here to make you dance tonight, I don’t care if I’m a guilty pleasure for you, Shut up cuz we won’t stop, And we’re getting down til the sun’s comin up.” I moaned. Dave knows what his singing voice does to me. Dave set me gently on the bed.

            And was suddenly slammed against the wall by Karkat.

            “Oh, that’s how you’re gonna be today? I’m game.” Dave quickly reversed their position. Scratches ran along his back already. I was kinda feeling ignored, and really fucking horny. Why hadn’t one of them done anything to me yet?

            Karkat managed to pin Dave to the floor. Teeth sunk into pale flesh, and then Dave stopped struggling. He was reduced to a moaning mass under Karkat. I couldn’t keep my head up to watch anymore, and fell back with a whimper.

            “Dave, I think John wants some company.”

I felt the bed dip next to me, and I turned to face him. Our lips lock as his hands reach to remove my pants. He teases my length as I whine into his mouth. He breaks the kiss to remove my shirt. His fingers play with my nipples, forcing more sounds out of me. I startled when I felt Karkat’s mouth on my cock. Dave smirked into the kiss as he felt me arch up under their attentions. I broke away from Dave’s kiss, panting and moaning.

            Karkat pulled back till he was only kitten-licking the tip.

            “Karkat…” He moved his body along mine until his bulge could take over where his mouth started.

            “Yes? What is it?”

            “Please!” His lips lifted into a smirk.

            “Dave could you pass the lube? It seems that he’s not enjoying being teased.” I shook my head. “What’s that?”

            “D-don’t need it…” His eyebrows shot up.

            “Couldn’t get fucked, so you fucked yourself?” I blushed and buried my face in his chest.

            “So, precious.” He breathed in my ear as his bulge disentangled form my cock. I could never get over the feeling of him inside me, the way his bulge wiggled around to find that spot and keep stimulating it.

            “H-haaa... K-Karkaaaat….”

            Dave said something but I was too focused on the pulsing member inside me. Karkat was shifting off of me! I clung to him.

            “I’m just shifting around, John. Dave’s being ignored.” I let go and felt him lift me and lay me on his chest. Dave’s mouth took over mine. I felt his hand wrap around my neglected cock, causing me to whimper into his mouth. He broke the kiss, and when I was about to protest, I felt him pressing onto me.

            He took a deep breath and let it out as he sunk down. He moaned loud and started bouncing.

            “F-Fuck!”

            “Such dirty language, John.” Karkat purred into my ear, “I wonder if I started fucking you faster, how many more curses could I get to pour from those lips?”

            “K-Karkat, pleeeaaase…”

            “Or maybe I could drive you close to the edge and have Dave take over after you cooled back down a bit? How does that sound Dave?” Said blonde bit my shoulder gently before answering.

            “Sounds perfect. Doesn’t it, John?”

            “Please, Dave, Karkat, please…” Karkat’s chuckle tickled my ear, before he started actively thrusting up into me.

            Dave kissed me and swallowed the scream that ripped its way from my lungs. I don’t know how long they continued with that rhythm, but I was so close when Dave pulled off of me with a pop.

            “Nooooo…” I wanted him back on top of me.

            “Remember, Dave and I are switching.” I took a shuddering breath, and then felt Dave pressing into me alongside Karkat.

            “D-Dave!” Karkat waited until Dave was completely inside me before pulling out. I was raised off of Dave as he shifted onto his knees. I was pulled down onto him, facing Karkat.

            “Haaaa!”

            “You’re right, he does look a bit wrecked.” Karkat’s voice sounded so far away. “But that is just how I want him to look.”

            He straddled me and Dave as his bulge guided my dripping member into his nook. He was hot and slick. His nook contracted around me, trying to draw me farther inside him. He bottomed out before I could get fully inside him, and that would’ve been fine with me, but he sat down completely and I felt something inside him shift. His nook now had no end, or at least that’s how it felt. My eyes shot open and stared into his.

            “K-Kar, w-what?” He sank further down on me, and my eyes rolled back into my head. My breathing sped up. “I-I’m-“

            “Shh, go ahead, John.” But there’s no bucket, Karkat never lets me release inside him.

            “B-but…” Karkat’s teeth sunk into that spot on my neck, just as Dave nailed my prostate. I came with a scream. I felt Karkat’s release spilling down my stomach and thighs, as Dave shuddered and flooded me. I couldn’t breathe.

            And suddenly I could and I was gasping and clinging to Karkat, as Dave clung to me. I loosened my grip when Kar shifted, and he lifted off. Dave pulled out and laid me down next to him.

            My god, I hope I wasn’t dreaming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Dave sings to John is part of the chorus to Cobra Starship's 'Guilty Pleasure'.


	4. Awkward Talks and Uncomfortable Dried Genetic Material

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, but here you go!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys, I really am sorry about not posting in forever, but I can and will tell you why. So, I started this story for my girlfriend at the time, and we broke up in July. I was working in a Corp for the summer, trail work and maintenance, building fences on public land to keep livestock out of water sources and springs. I don't have access to a phone or Internet for the entire month. She apparently missed me too much to not talk to me or see me for a month so that I could do my part and help people, and she sent me six texts and ended by saying that we were over. So, heart broken, and all inspiration gone, I get home, sit down at my laptop, and...... nothing. So, I'm hoping to start doing this story again, and am in the process of reviewing my last few chapters and what I have of the new one, and if I have to, I will make changes. Don't worry, I haven't given up. I'll start again. I also, in the interim, started a DirkJake with some JohnDave thrown in for kicks. It's a Faerie AU, so yeah. Hope you guys'll read it, and if not, that's chill. I've wasted enough of your time, so bye.

                I woke up with a start. I honestly didn’t remember where I was, or why I wasn’t in my room. When I shifted I felt something on my stomach flake away. Of course looking down, last night came back to me in a rush, and my face felt like a furnace.

            “You up yet, love?” Karkat’s head popped in, “The shower’s all yours.”

            “O-okay…”

            “What’s wrong?” He walked over and sat on the bed, far enough away that I had some personal space, but close enough that I knew he wasn’t just passingly curious.

            “Last night… What was that?”

            “I’m not even sure. Are you hurt? Did I do something wrong? Were you feeling too pressured? I’m so sorry, I didn’t-“

            “It’s okay, I didn’t feel pressured. I wasn’t hurt. You didn’t do anything wrong, per se. I’m just feeling a bit overwhelmed. But why did you… start it?”

            “I honestly don’t know. Something in your face. You’re kinda an open book, and you were so flustered and yet obviously turned on. I kinda had thought about it during the morning though, and wanted to try it. I really hope I didn’t push you.”

            “No, Karkat, you didn’t push me. I wasn’t pressured. I went willingly enough, but my head was clouded with hormones. I’m not sure that if I were, like, not drunk on my own lust, whether I would’ve said yes, or if I’d’ve even been in the room, you know?”

            “Yeah, it was probably a bad idea… Dave and I talked this morning too, and he was worried you’d be mad, or at least upset. To be honest, I expected a punch to the face for it.”

            “But really, what happened in your head, cuz the last thing you said on the subject prior to leaving your room, was that you couldn’t accept it, and you really didn’t want to hear or talk about what was going on between Dave and I.”

            “I spent the last week in my own head, thinking about mainly you, and then about Dave, then about me. What really got to me was that I was blindsided. I don’t like surprises. Plus hormones, never a good thing. But then I got to thinking about something else.” His eyes shifted downward. “Back on Alternia, I’m a mutant, but I’ve talked to my Dancestor and he says that he has the same issue as me. Our mutation fucked up our distribution gland. The part that doles out hate, pity, true love, well it’s fucked. I tried my best to keep with the quadrant system. I just can’t do it.”

            “Do what? The quadrants thing?”

            “Exactly. So I just kinda let myself sort out exactly how I felt, without the quadrants fucking it up. Things became a big confused puddle, but it made sense, too. I hate Dave to a certain extent, but I’m also disgustingly fond of him. I love you, and there’s nothing else there. No pity, no hate, just disturbingly cuddly and sappy love. I came to the conclusion that I did want to know, but well, first-hand.” He looked back up at me. “And I figured the easiest way to do that was to get into a situation like that.”

            “So it was just, an experiment? For letting your quadrants go?”

            He nodded and looked at the door. “Basically. So, I’ve sorted out what’s going on. I’m feeling better about the entire thing. Last night could become a regular thing, or if you’re not okay with that it can be just a memory.”

            Jeez, now I’m the one who needs to process shit.


End file.
